A Decision NOT Made Together

Well, there are some things even married couples are not meant to make decisions together (although I personally think everything should be of the two's consensus) but whatever it is I'm happy for my other half's decision to purchase an apartment in Shah Alam. Not that I'm against my laling (that's what I call the love of my life if I haven't told you guys so) buying a property, and not that I am not aware of my laling's intention to buy a property but this is the second time a purchase was made and I was not brought to the know.

The first was the car and now the apartment. I'm not expecting my laling to get my permission but at least I would appreciate if I am somehow 'involved' in KN's decision to go ahead with the purchase. The saddest thing is I gotta know about this on the way home from work just now when the transaction was made yesterday afternoon. It took my laling 24 hours to tell me. I know somehow that my laling is worried about the uncertain future especially when I am not around. I know that my laling is buying a shelter for a a reason only the two of us know. My laling deserves this and I vow to give my love my full undivided support. Well, it's just a matter of heart. At least when I write it down here, I am letting things go.

Yes, I am bit kecik hati because whatever I want to get these past five years, no matter how much it costs, I will usually ask for my laling's opinion. I treasure my laling's points of view because I treasure our relationship very much. Well, it's my laling's money, I shall not interfere but it brought the word 'marriage' to a new level - ground zero, meaningless I guess. Somehow sometimes I feel that we're two individuals having different views about marriage. My laling asked me not to be angry and I'm not, why should I be angry? For being left out in the decision making process? I don't think so, like I said, it's not even my earnings that my laling is spending on.

I'm writing this entry to express my feelings as I have no one to tell this to. If I were to tell my laling how I truly feel, I'm sure this love of mine would soon jump into negative conclusions and merajuk worse than I am right now and I would have to pujuk my laling like I was the one at fault. So be it. I am happy that my laling's finally ready for more financial commitment and I hope the loan will be approved soon. My laling's achievements in life is a winning point for me - I am proud to have been able to guide my laling all these while and I hope my laling will continue making the correct decisions. Especially when I am no longer around. Believe me, I love you.