NOT!It's nearly 7 years - this October it would be and I just can't wait for us to grow old together. I am happy. I am absolutely happy. NO doubt in any relationship there would be some glitches but I think we have always managed to solve any problems that came passing by. They are just problems that could be solved if we both put our hearts into it.
It's nearly seven years too that I've spent 99.98% of my weekends alone. I used to go back to Melawati to spend time with my side of the family but ever since I started dialysis I seldom go home. I'd be at my dad's house for about 4 - 5 hours on Saturdays or Sundays then I'm back home doing an exchange.
Well, I am not complaining (but I am) I have long accepted my life now as it is. I know I am strong like nobody could and would imagine I am. I am pretty sure that Mummy would be very impressed if she was still alive at how strong her son really is. Yes, on the outside. I am strong on the outside but only God knows what goes on the inside. I live my life by the day and never look too far ahead and never anymore hope for things that I am not sure of getting. But there's something I really want and I'm sure I want it bad.
I want a weekend like anybody else. A weekend spent with his loved one. Do things together but that has remained a dream that I have kept all to myself ever since it all started 7 years ago. How could I ever be so selfish and want it to be our weekend when my dear has to be with the other side of the family. Settle things that need settling and spending time with the parents (I truly hope) and childhood friends.
But deep inside me I want to go places on weekends, cook for two or at least wake up late together on a Sunday afternoon - things that I have been deprived of the last 7 years. I just do not know the pleasures of a weekend. I am plain weekend bored and lonely and I don't think I can take it anymore...what should I do?
7 comments:
Darl..
for me, it's been 10 years of lonely weekends.
only fortunate to spend weekends with my loved one, i would say, if i am lucky, only once a month!
my family is far away in Tawau. only once a year i get to see them!
my weekends, though spent alone, gives me precious time to do things, to think of life, to read, to write and cook (goreng telur jer ler).
i love my weekends. alone. it gives time for solitude and solace for me and myself alone, away from the hectic weekdays...
treasure your 'lonely' weekends dear becoz there are others out there who are working and struggling to make ends meet during those times...
saberrr...!! saber dong...!! jgn komplen2 skrng, tak baik tau...!! u entered into the rltnshp knowing the constraints & arrangement... jgn komplen2 skrng, kang dia naik angin lak kang... rejoice the moment alone, and do something you enjoy... anyhow, you are lucky to have someone who cares so much about you... ada betoi ka...? :) the glass is half full En Kalel oooiii... :D
aaaaaa nobody has it easy for the weekends. even with family & kids like me occay
Weekends is my breather as a SAHM. Someone to hold the reins on that litul energy pack with two legs for a bit while I finish off things I personally want to do. But this weekend...
- He ate my kuah kacang leftover from last nite's satay I SOOOOOO wanted to enjoy over cucur udang *sulk*
- made a public announcement at 1000 hours, "I nak gi Ampang repair kete" WT tuut?? repair kete = hours & hours spent outside while I am stuck with chores and "toddler" handling
- Brunch & 10 mins grocery shopping at Carrefour because Germ Warefare Officer said "BANYAK ORANG LA..dengan H1N1 we cant be too careful"
- Sunday he is off to Kemaman. THERE GOES MY WEEKEND
So I made a huge fuss in the car - org keje pun ada MC, AL, BONUS, PERFORMANCE BONUS..where's MINE
"I'm not your boss..tu ATAIH sana tu your boss"
*dang!*
...moral of the story. Just be grateful and take these things with a pinch of salt.
hi kal el,
alahai, cute kuceng tuuu...rasa nak korek bijik mata dia ..hhahaa...voley?? kihkihkih.
about the weekend...hem...sometimes we just have to accept things as wut it is and look at the positive side of it.
Maybe u need something to kill ur loneliness, do something u enjoy.
tak tau apa terjadi apa akan terjadi pd tahun2 mendatang..so nikmati masa ini. ok..i understand u want something that "cook for 2...doing something together"...tapi..tak semua apa yg kita nak kita akan dpt..
at least u have someone who loves u so much..
just enjoy ur weekend..takde sesiapa mengongkong...just be grateful...ramai lagi yg spend weekend mcm mesin, buat kerja tak habis2..house chores..anak2...family...then start monday pun letih sbb weekend pun penuh je dgn 'kerja di rumah'..
:)
OMG i never realized how lucky I am - that even those I've never personally met outside virtual world care for me.
Thanks all of you for your encouragement. Sometimes I just need to let things out but believe me I am enjoying my weekend although it sucks spending it alone most of the time.
:-)
Despite "knowing" u online for quite sometime from your days at the old blog, I never knew these things about you. I really admire your strength & determination in life :-)
Thanks dr shah. I have to be strong somehow kalau tak I will not survive and thank God I have someone who keeps me going all these while and I have friends like you who care.
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